Wednesday, March 25, 2009

thoughts from my brain

Nothing too exciting is going on with us right now. I'm still a student (ugh!) and Ben is still trying to get registered (we found out he passed exam #5, so only 4 left). Here are some random thoughts:

-Eleanor chewed a hole in our sheets, specifically in the fitted sheet. We have been looking for new sheets, but sheets are really expensive! I am considering going the ebay route. For now, we can operate on one set of sheets. It just means I will have to wash them and then put them right back on the bed. 

-I am so sick of school. Not that anyone who reads this blog didn't already know that. I just thought I would say it again. 

-Ben participated in a basketball pool at work. He entered two brackets. (I'm not sure if my terminology is right, so hopefully you will get the idea.) One of the principles at his firm has a son, H, with a disability (it is actually some sort of disease, but I don't remember the name of it) that works in the office. Actually, he has two sons that work in the office, both with the disease, but the one I am referring to has it much worse than the other, including some cognitive issues as well as some pragmatic problems. (Am I making sense?) H works in the office and gets paid to do office tasks such as delivering the mail to peoples desks, coordinating golf tournaments, and coordinating the office pools (baby pools, basketball pools, whatever else you could have a pool for, you get the idea). By the way, I think this is great. He is lucky that his dad owns a company that gives him a paying job that gives him purpose in life, as many people with disabilities aren't so lucky. Anyway, each person is allowed to enter two brackets. Apparently H's brother and dad either don't know anything about college basketball or have been conned into allowing H to do their brackets for them, because H basically enters 6 brackets. Anyway, ever since Ben has worked there, H has won the pool every time! So this year before it started, Ben and I were discussing his winning streak and laughing. Monday night at dinner, Ben gave me an update and said that H was again in the lead, with both of his brackets in the top 5, along with his brother's. Anyway, I think he cheats, which is really funny to me. The winner gets money, as in several hundred dollars, so he has major incentive to win. Not that he needs the money or anything, since he lives with his parents and they cover all of his expenses. Ben has decided he is not going to enter anymore because he is never going to win. On another note about H, Ben was talking to the print guy at work, who said that H told him he was pretty upset that his hours were cut back (like Ben's were originally), meaning one less day a week and no more overtime. Overtime?! Seriously? They are paying him overtime?! I guess delivering the mail can be quite time consuming. Also, Ben says that H sets up the teams for the golf tournament and somehow always ends up on the team with the best players that wins. Hmmm.....

-Ben and I signed up for the Peachtree Road Race this year. I am quite certain that there will be no "racing" on my part. I just want my tshirt. 

-Did I mention that I am sick of school? 

-Our neighbor, baby E, had her stroller stolen out of her parents parking space in our building this morning. Who steals a stroller? It had to have been someone with access to the building, which leads me to believe it was someone in our building. 

-I am having trouble going to sleep at night. I don't know why, but I sometimes I just lay there until 2:00 or so. I thought maybe it was my daytime naps, so I cut those out, but that does not seem to be the problem. 

-I have been thinking about my mom a LOT recently. Not sure why on this either. I even have been dreaming about her every night. A year ago today, she was healthy. A year ago today, I had no idea that less than 6 months later, days after my first anniversary, she would die. A year ago today, Mom and I were talking about taking my baby crib from mawmaw's basement and storing at her house so that she could use it when Ben and I have kids. Maybe I should have made her go to the doctor sooner. Maybe there was something that could be done. Maybe I should have been with her when she died instead of at home, avoiding the extreme sadness of the hospital room and the inevitability of the situation. I took so much for granted, and I wish that there could have been another way for me to learn to appreciate everything I have been given. Anyway, please excuse the pity party. 

-I love to read, and I have been contemplating/planning the order of books I will read as soon as I finish this semester and have my evenings to do whatever I want instead of school work. I think being able to read again for fun, as opposed to textbooks (what am I talking about, I don't read those things!), is what I look forward to most after I finish school, except of course actually getting paid. 

-Ben and I are going to Seaside for a short vacation the first weekend in May and I am SO EXCITED! I seriously need a few days to relax. 

Well, these are my thoughts, from my brain to yours.

2 comments:

  1. I can tell you from experience that you'll go through times when you'll think constantly of your mom. After ten years, I still have times when I think of my stepdad Steve constantly. Especially now that we're having a baby. I would love for him to be here to meet it.

    After years of being sick he was healthier than he had been in years. One night I went to bed and when I woke up in the morning I was told he had passed away during the night. I've lived with the regret for years that I never told him goodbye.

    You'll replay those last few days wondering what you could have done differently. The night before he died we had actually been fighting. I went to bed mad at him that night and I will never forgive myself for what happened that night.

    All I can say is that it does get easier with time. And it's okay to allow yourself the pity party.

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  2. kristen, thank you for being so open and honest. i continue to learn a lot from you everyday!

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